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Lesson 6: The Royal Love Song *

Introduction: One "family season," is passion. That is how we get the family, right? This week we study the pleasure and limits on passion. What could be more exciting? Let's dive into the Bible and see what it has to teach us!

  1. Passion

    1. Read Song of Solomon 1:1-2. How great is kissing? (Better than wine.)

      1. When Song of Solomon (I'll abbreviate it as "Song" from now on), says "love" is more delightful than wine, is it talking about love or is it describing the kissing? (Kissing is the expression of love.)

    2. Read Song 1:3. Who is wearing the perfume? (The man.)

      1. Why mention the smell? (Love involves the touch of the kiss and the pleasure of smell.)

    3. Read Song 1:10. How does jewelry play into the Bible's description of beauty? (This indicates that it makes one more beautiful.)

    4. Read Song 1:12-14. Who else is wearing perfume? (The woman.)

      1. The man is referred to as "myrrh resting between my breasts" and "a cluster of henna blossoms." When you wear a new perfume, are you aware of it all day? (Normally, a new scent is noticed all day. She is continually aware of him.)

        1. What is the lesson that we are to learn from this? (We should keep our loved one in mind!)

      2. How does this work in marriage? Do you keep kissing? Do you keep your spouse in mind all day? Is it a pleasant thought, like that of flowers? Do you still do this after decades of marriage?

    5. Read Song 1:15-16. What great advice do we find here? (Tell your spouse that they look great!)

      1. Focus on the last part of verse 16. What does "our bed is verdant" mean? That you have green sheets? (Something that is verdant is flourishing and alive. This is not suggesting that you let your pets sleep with you or never wash your sheets. It means keep your love life fresh.)

  2. Positivity

    1. Read Song 5:9. Have you asked yourself this about your spouse?

    2. Read Song 5:10-11 and Song 5:13-15. Is his head really like gold and his body decorated with sapphires? (Of course not if he is a human.)

      1. So, what is being said? (She is overstating his attractiveness.)

      2. When you get together ladies, and discuss your husbands, do you overstate how good they are or do you overstate their defects?

        1. What about you, husbands, how do you speak about your wives?

        2. What does stating your complaints do to your mind? (It reinforces the negative attitude. You should say positive things about your spouse.)

    3. Read Genesis 4:1. The NIV refers to "laying" with your wife and the NKJV refers to "knowing" your wife. The root Hebrew word means to understand by seeing. Why would having sex be described as "knowing?" (It is the greatest intimacy. Nothing is secret anymore.)

      1. I used to read about "open marriages," meaning that the couple allow sex with other people. These days I rarely read about this. If these kinds of marriages are going away, why? (They make the mistake of thinking that you can "know" someone intimately and not be changed. Those marriages generally do not last.)

      2. Read Genesis 2:24-25. What is the positive side of "knowing" your spouse? (This is part of becoming "one flesh." Sex brings you together. It keeps the marriage healthy. That is why adultery tears the marriage relationship.)

  3. Timing

    1. Read Song 8:1-2. What does he want to be able to do to her? (Kiss her.)

      1. What is the problem? (Society. The culture will disapprove. But, if he were her brother, he says no one would think anything about it.)

      2. What is the lesson for us? (There are time, place, and relationship restrictions on intimacy with others.)

    2. Read Song 8:4. What does this tell us about timing? (Those who are unmarried can and should exert control over timing. "Arousing love" at the wrong time is dangerous.)

      1. Modern culture in the United States says that this is not true, that young people cannot control when they "arouse" love. What do you say? (Modern culture does not want to suggest control. When I was young there were no unwed mothers, and it was extremely rare to be obviously pregnant before marriage. That was not due to better use of birth control, and it was not due to abortion. Rather, it was the "control" caused by society pressure.)

      2. Is "control" different within the church? (A new bride reported to my wife that she had sex before marriage, and that everyone did. This suggests an attitude has completely reversed within a single generation.)

      3. What does the lack of a father do to "family seasons?" (The child never experiences a proper relationship with a father.)

    3. Read Song 8:8. Who is speaking here? (The siblings.)

      1. What do they want to do? (Help their younger sister get ready for marriage.)

    4. Read Song 8:9. What are the younger sister's options? (To be a wall or a door. She will either accept or reject sex before marriage.)

      1. How does the outcome change based on the sister's decision? (She either is a "tower" with "silver," or she is "enclosed" in a limited space.)

        1. What do you think this means? (I think the one refers to pride and wealth. While the other refers to limited options.)

    5. Read Song 8:10. What choice does the younger sister make? (She is a "wall." She does not have sex before marriage.)

      1. How does that affect her marriage partner? (That causes contentment.)

        1. Why would that be true? (They are not being compared to others.)

  4. God's View

    1. Read Leviticus 20:10. How serious is adultery in God's eyes?

    2. Read Leviticus 20:13. What sin is being described here? (Homosexual sex.)

      1. How serious a sin is this in God's eyes? (Like adultery, it is a death penalty sin.)

      2. Notice the phrase, "their blood will be on their own heads." What does that mean? (I think it means they made a bad choice. God views it as a choice.)

    3. Read Leviticus 20:22-24. What does this teach us about the popular culture? (It will have different standards than those of God. God abhors this culture.)

      1. No modern western culture imposes the death penalty for adultery and homosexuality. What should concern us about God's view? (God's judgment on these things is the final and ultimate judgment.)

    4. Is this just an Old Testament standard? (Read Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. God's opinion is the same in the New Testament. If you have time, read Romans 1. It traces the progression of sin, and that has some interesting lessons.)

    5. Friend, God invented sex. He tells us that romance and sex are wonderful. However, He places time and manner restrictions. Will you decide, right now, with the aid of the Holy Spirit to comply with God's will on this subject?

  5. Next week: Keys to Family Unity.

* Copr. 2019, Bruce N. Cameron, J.D. All scripture references are to the New International Version (NIV), copr. 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society, unless otherwise noted. Quotations from the NIV are used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers. Suggested answers are found within parentheses. The lesson assumes the teacher uses a blackboard or some other visual aid.

© 2021 Bruce N. Cameron, J.D.
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